


You Might Think

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-26
Updated: 2006-03-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:46:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Flashes from season one through episode 308. Song fic based on You Might Think, by The Cars.





	You Might Think

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

~Oh well uh you might think I’m crazy  
To hang around with you  
Or maybe you think I’m lucky  
To have somethin’ to do  
But I think that you’re wild  
Inside me is some child~

“Brian, are you finished or are you going to actually make a commitment and spend the rest of your life with those fries?” Emmett asked impatiently, looking at Ted’s watch for the third time in ten minutes.

“Go on.” Brian told Michael, ignoring Emmett.

“We’re not in that big a rush,” Michael said, cutting his eyes at Em. “We can wait.”

“Honey, it’s Best Buns night at Babylon, if we don’t get there soon all the vantage viewing points will be taken.”

“Yeah, while we’re sitting here on our buns, watching Deb serve up stale ones, we’re missing the first round of hot, fresh, firm buns on stage,” Ted remarked, looking around the diner. “Besides, there’s nothing here worth pinching.” 

“Oh, there is one hot little dish Brian’s interested in sampling,” Em said, looking over behind the counter to where Justin was busy refilling the ketchup bottles. Ted and Michael followed Emmett’s gaze. Michael rolled his eyes and Ted shared a smirk with Emmett.

“Go on, already.” Brian gave Michael a light shove. “I have something to do. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The three of them left Brian sitting in the booth, paid their checks and managed to contain themselves until they were out on the street, safely out of Brian’s earshot. 

“Can you believe it? He’s actually waiting on his boy toy to get off work? I swear, if I didn’t know better, I’d say Brian Kinney is well and truly smitten.” Emmett put his arm through Ted’s, pulling his scarf tighter around his neck to ward off the chill from the night air.

“Call me hopelessly romantic, but who knows, maybe it’s love,” Ted said. “I mean, as far as it’s possible for Brian Kinney to be in love.” Ted turned his head toward Emmett. “With someone other than himself, of course.” 

“Maybe Brian’s finally come to his senses and he’s gonna call it off for good.” Michael sounded pleased with the idea.

“I wouldn’t count on it, sweetie. It feeds Brian’s ego to have another devoted admirer, one so young and impressionable…one he can mold and shape into a replica of himself,” warned Em.

“Besides,” Ted looked over his shoulder at Michael, “Justin has proven to be remarkably persistent. I think it’s going to take more than the patented Kinney ‘fuck off’ to get rid of him.”

Michael didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to, his sulky expression said it all.

~You might think I’m foolish  
Or maybe it’s untrue  
(you might think I’m crazy)  
You might think I’m crazy  
(all I want is you)  
But all I want is you~

“Brian. I thought you left with the others.” Justin was surprised to see him outside the diner. He smiled up at the man he was crazy in love with and marveled that, even though it wasn’t love, Brian felt something for him too. 

“I have a surprise for you.” Brian handed Justin a small square card.

“A guest pass to the baths?”

“It’s a rite of passage for every gay man, your first trip to the baths.”

“Isn’t Babylon having a Best Buns contest tonight?” Justin asked, looking at the guest pass curiously, not sure if he wanted to go or not, but afraid to disappoint Brian.

“Yes, and we’ll be having one of our own…it’s no towels night. It’ll be so fucking hot.” Brian leaned down and brushed his lips against Justin’s. Then he did it again. Justin was always so ready for his kiss, his lips so soft and yielding. And the little moan that escaped Justin’s throat when Brian deepened the kiss sent a shock of electricity through his body, straight to his cock. 

Brian pulled back and looked into Justin’s eyes. “So, are you coming with me, or going to Babylon?”

Justin tried to shake the fog from his mind, but all he could think about was having Brian inside him. He swallowed hard and answered, trying to sound more sure than he felt, after all, just because Brian wanted him to come along to the baths didn’t mean he would end up fucking him, maybe he only wanted him along for an audience. Justin didn’t care; all he wanted was to be near Brian. “Let’s go.”

*

“He’s hot,” Brian said, wrapping his arms around Justin’s shoulders, rubbing his hard dick against the slight indention between the small of Justin’s back and the top of his nicely rounded ass. 

“I guess.” Justin put his hands on top of Brian’s and pulled him closer, pressing backwards. He was rewarded with a groan and Brian nibbling on his ear. Feeling a surge of sexual power, Justin took a chance on getting what he wanted. “He’s okay.” He turned in Brian’s arms and said, “But I’d rather watch him watching you fuck me. We could make every guy in this room jealous…between the ones who want to fuck me, and the ones who want you to fuck them, we’d have the whole place going crazy. Wouldn’t that be hot?” 

Brian was seriously turned on by Justin’s words, more so than he wanted to admit, but he couldn’t deny it was what he wanted too. With a grin he began to push Justin backwards until they reached the wall. He turned Justin around by the shoulders, ran his hands down his young lover’s arms, threading his fingers through Justin’s and placing their hands on the wall. He buried his face in the back of Justin’s neck, inhaling the mixture of soap and sweat, and something indefinable, uniquely Justin, that never failed to drive him crazy. 

Justin shivered when Brian’s lips touched his skin. His cock throbbed, begging to be stroked, but he knew he wouldn’t last long and wanted to come with Brian inside him. It was torture, exquisite torture, when he felt Brian’s slick wet tongue running down his spine. He put his forehead against the wall as Brian’s hands moved to his hips and he felt that talented tongue glide over the cleft between his cheeks. He groaned loudly as Brian tongued his tight opening, his cock twitching in response. 

“Fuck me,” Justin demanded. 

Brian rose and grabbed a condom from the dispenser on the wall, tearing the package with his teeth and quickly rolling it over his dick. He stepped up behind Justin and nudged the head of his cock against Justin’s opening. They both moaned as Brian eased inside, working his way slowly to the hilt. Brian rested his forehead on Justin’s back as he began to pump in and out. Justin turned his head for Brian’s kiss, forgetting all about the audience around them, lost in the sensual fog that took over the moment Brian touched him. 

*

Later that night, as Justin drifted off to sleep in Brian’s bed, one thing kept running through his mind, I’m the only one he fucked, Justin thought, giving him hope that maybe, just maybe, what Brian felt for him could become love after all. 

~You might think it’s hysterical  
But I know when you’re weak  
You think you’re in the movies  
And everything’s so deep  
But I think that you’re wild  
When you flash that fragile smile~

“Rebel without a Cause…again?” Justin asked with a frown.

“It’s a classic. What the fuck are you doing here anyway, I thought you had plans with your little friend, Daphne?”

“I did. We went to a movie and dinner where I listened to her talk about her new boyfriend for two hours. It’s after midnight, Brian.” Justin threw his jacket on the back of the couch and sat down beside Brian, not commenting on the number of empty beer bottles and miniscule roaches left in the ashtray on the coffee table. “How many times have you watched it?”

Brian turned to Justin with an angry expression and growled, “fuck off.”

“Mmm, that bad huh? I don’t suppose you want to talk about it?” 

“Would you please just leave me the fuck alone?” Brian held Justin’s gaze, knowing intimidation wouldn’t work, but giving it a shot anyway.

“I don’t seem to be able to. It must be your winning personality and amazing people skills…” Justin grinned and kissed Brian’s bare shoulder when he got another killing look. “Or maybe it’s because you’re such a great lay.” He slid his arms around Brian, encouraged when Brian didn’t pull away. “Or,” he began gently, “it could be love.” 

Brian made a snorting sound, but still didn’t move from the circle of Justin’s arms. 

“I love you, Brian. And so do Michael and Lindsay, and Deb. Even Ted and Emmett. We all love you…so just because your mother can’t accept you for who you are…”

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Brian interrupted. 

“Okay.” Justin waited until he was sure Brian wasn’t going to bolt before saying, “I just want you to remember what I said. I’ll always be here for you…in whatever capacity you allow.” 

“God, that’s so…”

“Pathetic, I know. You’re the great Brian Kinney; you don’t need anyone and don’t want to be needed by anyone. Well, guess what? I’ve seen the man behind the curtain.” Justin kissed the side of Brian’s temple. “I know the wizard’s secret.” 

Brian looked at Justin with one eyebrow raised. “Was that a Wizard of Oz reference? Christ, could you be any gayer?”

“No. Lucky for you.” Justin laughed, happy that Brian had let him in, just a little…by not pushing him away. He reached for the remote as he kissed his way down Brian’s chest, clicking off the DVD player, putting good old J.D., and a few of Brian’s demons, to rest for the night. 

~You might think it’s foolish  
What ya put me through  
(you might think I’m crazy)  
You might think I’m crazy  
(all I want is you)  
All I want is you~

I wonder if he’ll even notice I’m gone. Justin thoughts were back in Pittsburg even as he looked out the window of the B&B at the snowy Vermont landscape. He flopped across the huge empty bed and checked his cell for messages- three from Daph, one from his mom, one from Michael about the final panels for Rage. 

Justin sat up and ran his thumb over the keypad for a minute before taking a deep breath and dialing Michael’s number. He picked up on the second ring.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Vermont.” Justin stated flatly.

“What? But, I thought Brian…”

“Brian’s not with me. I came alone.”

“Oh,” Michael said, obviously confused, but not wanting to say so.

“The trip was already booked and paid for, I didn’t see any reason to waste it…to stay home feeling sorry for myself because Brian’s job is more important to him than me.” 

“Does he know?”

“He will when he checks his messages. If he checks his messages.” Before Michael could berate him for it, he went on, “I was going to tell him in person, but he left before I got the chance.”

“I see. So what the fuck am I supposed to do about the comic book with you all the way in Vermont? Justin, if we don’t get the finished pages to the printer by Monday, it won’t be done in time for the release party. And the posters, how are we…” 

Justin stopped him before he wound himself up any tighter. “Michael. It’s taken care of. I left the drafts in a cardboard folder in your storeroom, along with the mock up for the poster. All you have to do is take everything to the printers.”

“Oh,” Michael said again, completely stunned. “Then I guess I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Yeah.” 

“Have fun. Don’t do anything I…scratch that, don’t do anything Brian wouldn’t do.” Michael said brightly.

“So basically, anything goes?”

“Exactly.” 

Justin hung up and laughed. He had been sitting around feeling sorry for himself since he arrived. He could have stayed in Pittsburg and done that. He got up and began to unpack his bag. He would enjoy his vacation…even if it killed him.

*

He went anyway. Brian twisted the unopened bottle of champagne between his hands and fought the urge to break it over something. He didn’t know why he bought it, he hated champagne. Yes, he did know why, he wanted to celebrate and it seemed like the most appropriate thing. Justin likes it. There, he admitted it, if only to himself. He wanted to celebrate his success with Justin. 

“But he’s not here.” He said aloud to the empty loft. 

 

~And it was hard so hard to take  
There’s no escape without a scrape  
But you kept it going till the sun fell down  
You kept it going~

Justin concentrated on breathing normally as he starred into the darkness, listening to Ethan’s occasional snoring. What the fuck have I done? he thought. I’ve left him. I walked out on Brian. He was glad it was so pitch black in Ethan’s shit-hole of an apartment, otherwise, he suspected the room would be spinning out of control. He’ll never forgive me, Justin thought. Then he thought, who gives a shit? He doesn’t love me, never did. I was just fooling myself. Ethan stirred in his sleep and tightened his hold on Justin’s chest. Ethan loves me. He has no trouble saying the words. And such a romantic, even asleep, he can’t bear to have me out of reach. Justin refused to allow the treacherous thought in his head to take hold, the one about preferring some space to sleep. Instead, he blamed his sleeplessness on the party. Sure, Rage was half his baby, but the party had been for Michael, Justin knew that. Fucking Michael, he should’ve minded his own fucking business! Thinking about Michael made him angry…and that felt good. It was a hell of a lot safer than thinking about Brian, or thinking that maybe it wasn’t just being in a strange bed that was keeping him from sleeping…he refused to entertain the thought that maybe it was because he lying next to the wrong person.

*

Brian lit another joint and carefully forced his mind to go blank again. He was having a bitch of a time keeping it so…seemed every time he let go for even a second, Justin somehow managed to find a way inside his head. Like now. Like Justin’s nightmares. Brian knew he was still having them, they weren’t as severe as in the beginning, he might not wake up screaming anymore, but he still had the fuckers every night. Brian wondered if Edgar, or was it Ian, whatever, Brian wondered if he would become so attuned to Justin’s body language that he would feel it when Justin tensed up…not even be awake enough to know, but somehow know anyway, just know that Justin was having one and wake him up? Either possibility pissed Brian off to think about, so he took another hit and starred at the ceiling. 

~Oh well uh you might think I’m delirious  
The way I run you down  
But somewhere sometimes  
When you’re curious  
I’ll be back around  
Oh I think that you’re wild  
And so-o uniquely styled~

“So, how did it go? I need details. Did he see you? Did you talk to him? Did he totally flip?” Daphne was practically jumping up and down the second Justin was through the door.

“You have to stop talking in order for me to tell you what happened, Daph.” Justin grinned at her. She took it as a sign things went well and pulled him over to the sofa, making a locking gesture in front of her closed lips, her dark eyes shining with excitement.

“Well, at first he was pissed. Told me he didn’t want me there, didn’t want to have to see my face everyday.”

“That means he must still care, or he wouldn’t give a shit!” Daphne blurted out, then quickly covered her mouth, motioning for Justin to continue.

“Of course he denied he cares, or that we were ever in a relationship for that matter, but it worked to my advantage perfectly…he had no reason to fire me. You should have seen his face, it was priceless. Jesus, Daph, this might actually work. If I can just get him used to having me around again…if he just gives me a chance.” 

“It’ll work, I know it will. You two will get back together and everything will be perfect!” 

Justin laughed. “Things with Brian were never perfect, and they never will be, but I see things more clearly now and I know that I love him and no matter what, I always will. And being with him is worth the effort.”

Daphne sighed. “I think it’s fate. Your lives are inextricably linked. It’s like destiny! It’s like…”

“A fairy tale?” Justin suggested. They both laughed. 

“It’s nice to hear you do that.” 

“What make bad puns?” 

“No. Laugh. It’s just been awhile since you’ve laughed, or smiled, or spoken in complete sentences.” Daphne grinned. “I’m just glad you’re back. I missed you.” 

“Thanks, Daph. And thanks for taking me in when I left Ethan, and especially for putting up with me through it all. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Me either.” Daphne leaned over and hugged him, glad to see the fire back in his eyes. She smiled into his shoulder. Brian doesn’t stand a chance, she thought. 

~You might think it’s foolish  
This chancy rendezvous  
(you might think I’m crazy )  
You might think I’m crazy  
(all I want is you)  
All I want is you-a-oo  
All I want is you  
(all I want is you)  
All I want is you~

God, he was as nervous as the first night he met Brian. Justin studied the glowing tip of the cigarette in his hand, using the time before he entered the Vanguard building to calm his nerves. He needed to be in control, of himself at least, everything else was up to Brian. Have some balls? Fine. I know what I want, what I’ve always wanted, and I’m sure as hell willing to fight to get it back. 

His thought about the first night Brian took him home. Justin had never been more scarred in his life…or more determined. Knowing that Brian, self-assured, gorgeous, tripping his ass off by the end of the night, Kinney wanted him…a scarred shitless seventeen year old kid who had no fucking clue about the world, it was…well, it was a revelation in so many ways. That night had changed Justin’s life, and now, this one would as well. 

*

Knock Knock

“Mr. Kinney?”

“Taylor. Come in.” Brian nodded to the chair. “Sit down.” When Justin still didn’t say anything, Brian prompted him. “You wanted to see me?”

Justin nodded yes. Now or never, Taylor, he mentally prodded himself. “I gave it some thought. I decided you should take me back.”

“Oh?” Brian asked casually.

He’s listening; I’ve not been thrown out on my ass yet. Justin’s confidence grew. “Even though I’ve made a few mistakes I think you’d be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance.”

“I see.”

“Cuz now I understand what it is you want of me. And I know what I can expect from you.” There. He had laid it on the line.

“You also understand that you’ll be required to work long hard hours, sometimes deep into the night?” 

“It’ll be a pleasure to work under you…sir.” Justin grinned, feeling euphoria bubbling up inside him. 

“And you’re never to play violin music in my presence again.” Brian stated emphatically.

“I promise,” Justin whispered.

“Good. Well then,” Brian stood and came around the desk. “You can start immediately.”

Justin starred up at him for a long moment, afraid if he moved it would break the spell and Brian would look at him and say, Yeah, right. In your fucking dreams, Taylor. He pushed the fear aside and got up to close the door.

*  
Still unable to wipe the smile off his face, Justin stuck his key in the lock and tried to be as quiet as possible, hoping he wouldn’t wake Daph. He flipped the light switch and leaned back against the door as he closed it. 

“You’re back late…does that mean what I think it does?”

“Jesus, Daph! You scarred the shit out of me…why aren’t you in bed?”

“Are you kidding?” she asked dryly from her place curled up on the sofa. “How could I even think of sleeping until I know what happened?” She twisted a lock of hair around her index finger. “Did you see him?”

“Yeah, I saw him,” Justin answered, going into the tiny kitchen for a soda.

“And?” Daphne prodded, jumping up off the couch.

“And…” Justin smiled broadly, “he took me back.” He popped the top on the can and took a long swallow, and then he laughed at the goofy grin on Daphne’s face that he knew matched his and went to bed.


End file.
